A few days ago, this story about Elsa was posted on the United Way facebook page. It was a brief story, but as you can see in the comments, it sparked many comments… which included some valid questions and concerns. I am a firm believer in that lasting change, whether collectively or individually, comes from a hand up, not a hand out, so I asked for more insight into the story.
Graciously, Elsa shared her story in a lot more detail, and I’ve been given permission to share it here. (Thank you so much, Elsa. I am grateful for your courage & example.)
If I eat the sandwich, my kids go to school without lunch. If I give it to them, I won’t eat at all today. It’s okay if I don’t eat enough. My kids are first.
Hello. My name is Elsa Garcia. I am 27 years old and I live in the Brooklands community with my partner and our two children Olivia, 7 and Diego, 5. I was 20 and living at home when I found out I was pregnant. My partner and I decided to move in together. First we lived downtown, then on Machray, then we found this place.
My partner works, but he also pays child support because he has kids from a previous relationship. Raising a family on our limited budget is very hard. Especially when his payments are due. There are times when I can’t even buy a jug of milk.
When it’s something your family needs, when you don’t have it, and you have to tell your kids you can’t buy it for them, it’s hard. My oldest, Olivia, sees things her friends have at school, like juice boxes and she wants them too. But those things are expensive. I have to buy whatever’s on sale. Or bulk, and put it in another container. Water it down.
Just the other day, one of Olivia’s friends asked her why her mom doesn’t just buy her those things. So she came home asking me why, mommy. I have to tell her we can’t afford it right now. That I’ll try my best for next time. It just breaks my heart, but I think she understands.
As parents, it’s easy to get upset and stressed. We argue. I know it’s not good for me to be angry at my partner. I know he’s stressed too. I wish I could help our family, at least with getting some of the basics. I want him to know it’s not all on his shoulders all the time. But you justget so frustrated when you can’t provide for your own children.
I’ve got my diploma to be a medical office assistant, but when Olivia came, and then Diego, I had to stay home. We looked at daycares, but it’s too expensive. All my paycheque would just be going to keep them in care.
When I was living at home I never thought I would ever need help, especially with food. You never think you will go through that. When I found myself in that situation, I was embarrassed and ashamed.
Thankfully there’s a place in our neighbourhood that tells me it’s okay. It’s…
…a United Way agency. They tell me that everyone goes through it sometimes and that if we can, if we’re able to help you, we will. And they do.
The first time I went there, it was for a Christmas party they were hosting for the neighbourhood. They didn’t even know me and they just invited me. I’ve never been the kind of person to ask for help, but I was so glad I went. There were toys for the kids, we had a nice dinner, and Olivia and Diego were just so happy. It was a great day!
Since then I’ve joined a health group. We meet every two weeks. They brought in a dietician who gave us tips on shopping for healthy food on a tight budget. But it’s also just nice to meet new people from the community. I remember when I used to live at my parents’ house, nobody around there ever talked to each other. There was no community. But now I know the people around me and if I have a problem I can go and ask them for help. To me it’s like having another family.
There’s also an afterschool program. My kids love it there because they get to draw and paint and do crafts. They get a healthy snack with the other children and ride bikes that were donated. It makes me feel good that they have those things there because we can’t afford to provide them.
We don’t have a computer at home either so the kids can go and play games, and I’ve been getting help with updating my resume and job hunting on the internet. They’ve shown me some of the boards where there are postings and they’re trying to find me somewhere I can volunteer so I can get some experience.
My dream is to just be able to give my kids and my family the basics. When I no longer have to worry so much all the time if we will have enough food…and we can be more happy and not stressed all the time about financial problems, that’s my dream.
So please, whatever you can give, please help.
PS. I know that when I can, I’m going to be donating to organizations like United Way. Because I know how hard it is and I know there’s a lot of people going through what I’m going through.
What I love is that this story shows the power of transition. Hard times happen to people, and sadly it isn’t temporary for many of them, it’s a way of life. What helps people transcend above those hard times, in my opinion (and I could very well be wrong), are 3 main things:
- The will to do it
- The knowledge & education to make it possible
- The support to keep you going when it gets hard
Elsa’s story shows all 3. What has helped Elsa, as she mentions in her story, is the power of community. That is exactly what we need to help make this impossible goal possible. Will you join the movement?
- Donate here: http://bit.ly/ZlTYuF
- Share with your community by leaving a comment below or posting the link to Facebook or Twitter.